From “just a girlfriend”, to the wives who don’t understand me 

The title says it all. I’m “just a girlfriend”, in a world of military spouses. We don’t share finances, we don’t have kids (if we were married, I’m 98% sure we still wouldn’t), we don’t have matching wedding bands yet.. To some my feelings are less valued because of those things, but to me, they’re just as relevant. 

So, let me explain;

I’m a full time student working on a college degree. I have a full time job. I have a boyfriend deploying. 

I cry, a lot. Over stress from school. Over my service member not being home. Over just the thought of deployment. 

I miss him, a lot. I miss our time together. I miss having someone at home with me in the evenings when I cook dinner. I miss the other side of the bed being taken up. I miss my best friend. 

I have to relearn how to do things on my own and do the little things he did.  How to cook dinner for one. How to keep myself occupied so I don’t feel so alone. How to manage a house and 3 animals. Don’t forget to empty the dyers lint trap. Don’t wait to wash towels until you have none left. 

Although we don’t have kids and a signed marriage license, it doesn’t mean I don’t have it hard some days too. 

Although we aren’t married yet, doesn’t mean I can just mess around and not care about anything. I have concerns and worries and stressors too. 

Although we aren’t married, it doesn’t mean I’m not as serious about him and our relationship as you are about your marriage. A deployment stands between me,marrying my hero, and starting our dreams together.. just as a deployment stands between having your husband back home with you. 

I wait for a 30 second phone call ALL day, just like you do. 

I live for the second he says, “I’m okay”, at the end of the day, just like you do. 

I pray endlessly for mental strength, just like you do. 
From the Army girlfriend, to the Army wife.. I beg you to understand my feelings are just as real as yours. I’m waiting, just like you are.

 To the other officers wives who look at me; I beg you to not look down on me because we are young and not married yet. 

To the seasoned army wives; instead of judgment, please give me reassurance or advice. You were in this position once too. 

From “just the girlfriend”, please don’t treat me like the ugly step sister. 

In the end, I’m in love with a man in uniform, just like you. 


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